I’m back bitches!

Alright so I have been absent for a few days due to binging and depression.  I didn’t really feel depressed but that is the only reason I have for binging so hard on Thursday and Friday.

I was totally fine and happy until my mom pointed out that my dad’s family didn’t invite me to Thanksgiving even though all the other family was there.  I didn’t even think about it until she mentioned how pissed she was about it.  This is a constant issue that comes up, I don’t really realize they are treating me bad but she does and to be honest her upset about it isn’t over me, I know it’s over her, that she feels hurt they don’t include her daughter in the family the way they should.  They only call on me when they need to take my dad’s place in family events.  The only good thing is that I’m not the loser black sheep with issues anymore and that I am actually doing better then some of my cousins, even though no one really understands what I do.  The fact that I live in work in hollywood is glamourous enough to show off to their rich friends.

Anyway enough about my triggers, I ordered a pizza on Thursday and ate the whole thing, I also drank a bottle of champagne to myself.  The only good thing was waiting in line on black friday for 10 hours without eating.  I did have a baileys & coffee while I waited though.  On Friday I was so sick from the pizza that I spent most the day sleeping or medicated, but then late that night I binged again. 😦  I haven’t weighed my self yet because I am too scared at the results.

Yesterday I got back on the right track and did a 500 cal day which is better then binging I guess even though it was supposed to be a 200 cal day.  Today I am fully back on track for a 300 cal day.  I have a hair appointment so  that will keep me busy for a few hours and  have pretty much binged away all my good food in the house.  

I will weigh in tomorrow morning and we’ll see how bad I fucked up my good week.

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About smashvip

A fat girl who was skinny once, just trying to find her way back to skinny & happy. You gotta look good to survive LA LA land.
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One Response to I’m back bitches!

  1. ephemeralana says:

    sorry to hear its been a tough few days. I hope we can both stay back on track. its so easy to drink then binge. I’ve done the same. so I’m trying for no more alcohol for awhile.

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