I have been depressed since my friends passing and I just can’t seem to pull myself out of the funk. Going to work has been the biggest struggle. I feel myself getting more and more irritable with each day too. Today I almost snapped, well I did snap, just a little.
I couldn’t find my keycard this morning when I came into work and in the past you would just call on the scanner and they would open the gate. THis always creates a long line of people waiting behind you to get in. So the last time it happened I went to the visitor parking. Well when you went to the visitor parking they give you shit for not having it and blah blah blah. So instead of being bitched at I decided to go with the buzz in method. WEll apparently management changed and so did that rule. I had to wait for an attendant to come out and all he did was tell me to back out and go through visitor! WTF. I had to back out with about 15 people behind me and valet my car in visitor parking. I hate valet, I hate it so much and i do everything i can to avoid it, so this really pissed me off. Then I get into the office and my computer isn’t working. I try to ask if my login got changed over the weekend because there were maintenance issues but all I got in response was blank stares like I was speaking a foreign language.
I know I am on edge because these stupid little small things have set me off so bad. I closed my office and just started crying for a bit. I pulled myself together but I just can’t bare the though of actually doing anything. I just want to not be here and go home. I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to work. I just want to stare comatose out the window.