Sorry for my absence, I know it’s been a while. I have been so swamped at work and then so exhausted at home that I haven’t been doing anything but go to work, come home/fall asleep, get up go to work again. Nothing has changed with my weight and I haven’t been working out.  I was going to go to the gym last night but I was stuck at work late and my kitten is sick with an eye ulcer again.  I’ll get to the gym on Saturday for sure.

On Wednesday morning I did psychiatry intake thing which didn’t go well.  They messed up checking me in and I waited an hour before someone realized it, then the doctor I was supposed to see wouldn’t see me and they couldn’t find anyone else.  I was so mad and upset that I almost walked out.  They stuck me with the head on call therapist an he asked me questions as quickly as possible so I wasn’t late for work. I ended up being Extremely Anxious and Moderately Depressed.  I didn’t really think I was depressed until I was evaluated. I guess I am a little depressed but I think it’s more discouraged then anything. They set me up a meds evaluation for next week and then my first session with the psychiatrist the week after.  I think the meds I am on for my anti-anxiety are actually causing some of the depression so I hope we can figure something better out.  I haven’t really been sleeping well at all this last week either, I’ve been taking ZzzQuil but it is starting to not work now either.

Starting yesterday morning my pain returned with vengeance. I ended up having to take 3 Oxy halves to get through the day at work.  I should probably go to the emergency room but I’m kind of afraid too. Well the pain woke me up in the middle of the night last night and hasn’t stopped since about 3am.  One my way into work it subsided and I thought it was done, then it came back again and i finally took another Oxy half.  It’ sort of helping. I need to get some work done but if it is still killing me after lunch, I think I will have to go to the hospital. 

I’m not eating now, I know something I had in the last couple of days has caused this, it has to have so I am not eating until after it all stops hurting. That is the only thing that has ever truly helped this problem so I am fasting until the pain stops. Wish me luck.


About smashvip

A fat girl who was skinny once, just trying to find her way back to skinny & happy. You gotta look good to survive LA LA land.
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