So I am not really sure why my friends bulimia is bothering me so much but it is. I have had friends who were bulimic before but I didn’t find out until years later. I myself have never been able to purge no matter how much I want to and I can’t imagine purging in a public bathroom. I don’t think I am judging her or being a hypocrite, I just think I don’t want her to feel like me. I don’t want her to be hating her body that much and I hate the thought of her feeling terrible or guilty. She is so beautiful and so nice but she clearly can’t see it.
I think the other reason it bothers me is why this all started, because of her stupid ass boyfriend. He cheats on her a week after she leaves Japan with her friend who is super skinny so now Nana feels like she needs to be super skinny to keep him. The guy sounds like a piece of shit and Renee and I can’t figure out why she is still dating him. He doesn’t work & gambles instead to make money! She bought him a birthday present and he didn’t get her anything on her birthday. Then while I was there she said he wasn’t getting her a gift for xmas but she wanted to bring him back a $200-300 necklace from America cuz he asked for it. What?!
Nana was kind of on the chubby side for a young asian girl when I first met her but she has always had a beautiful face. I was really happy for her when she first started to lose weight because she seemed so much happier but now I can tell she isn’t happy about it and she is so thin. She just pats her non-existant tummy & frowns. I didn’t really pay much attention to her self putdowns because this is a very Japanese thing to do. In Japan you always say no to a compliment, otherwise you are considered cocky & rude but I suspected bulimia even before Renee told me about it. She never used to be self loathing and that is what worries me the most. I see all the girls I follow on twitter hating themselves and hurting themselves and it hurts me to think she is doing the same thing to herself.
She goes back to Japan at the end of the month & things could either get better or worse. I hope better since she got worse by being in America. She will be back at school which means she still won’t be close to her boyfriend but at least she will be surrounded by more friends and people she knows for support. Studying abroad can be very lonesome & depressing so I think Japan will be better for her. I just hope her parents aren’t pushing her to be this way either, which means it could get worse. Parents push for marriage and kids in Japan a lot since the young population is dwindling. Being settled is top priority for elders in Japan & that pressure could also be causing her to think she needs to stay with this loser boyfriend because she thinks who else could love or want her.
I am going to be keeping a very close eye on her FB & I am going to really try and skype with her to try and put my own mind at ease. I kind of wish it concerned Renee more but she may have already tried to confront her on it but I don’t know.
I’m not really sure how the Japanese view EDs either, maybe it is very common there. **Sigh** Anyway I love her and I am worried for her but there is really nothing I can do so I will just hope she gets better for now and this doesn’t rule her life forever. -_-